Perspectives feel real
from the book “Useful Not True”
A kid says a cat is a pet. A mouse says a cat is a threat. They can’t see it any other way. Their friends agree, which solidifies their view, making it feel totally true.
“This house is overpriced.”
“Nothing matters more than family.”
“You’re talking too much.”
To the person speaking, these feel like facts, not opinions. They really think that house is overpriced, and you’re talking too much. But someone is happy to buy that house at that price, and someone wants you to talk more, so their statements are not necessarily true.
Someone says, “That behavior is immoral and wrong.” But from another perspective, that behavior is moral and right. So, essentially, the person is just saying, “I don’t like it.”
Every statement everyone says could be prefaced with a disclaimer: “From my limited point of view, based only on what I’ve experienced…”
But they don’t need to say that. Instead, we need to know that, and hear it that way. No matter how much authority or conviction they have, no matter how respected or famous they are, their statements are just one biased point of view.
sive.rs/u03
Love this, Derek! Insightful and useful, as always.
Unfortunately, if we dont speak confidently, we arent taken seriously. But operating under the assumption that people know we're rationally uncertain and biased isn't realistic. Uncertainty is also bad for tribe cohesion.
People are fascinating.