You are what you pretend to be
from the book “Useful Not True”:
Your outside doesn’t need to match your inside.
You can feel terrified inside, but just pretend to be brave for one minute. By doing that, you were actually brave.
You might be a total introvert, but need to attend an event, so you act social for one hour. By pretending to be social, you were.
You can imitate your role model. Many top performers have an alter ego — a Jekyll to their Hyde or vice-versa — a side of themselves they personify and bring out when needed. It’s not Maria who negotiates. It’s El Tigre.
I wasn’t usually in the mood to be a good dad. But knowing how important it is, I’d collect my strength and do the right thing for a few minutes or hours — a short burst of being who my boy needed me to be. After years of that, we have an amazing relationship, and he tells everyone he has the best dad ever.
You are your actions. Your actions are you. Your self-image doesn’t matter as much.
When you realize what you need to do, it doesn’t mean that’s who you need to be. You can just pretend.
I have an internal saying, "my inbox doesn't need me to feel good, just to send the emails". This essay feels like a sophisticate of that idea, and well put. Ty!
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
―Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night